Yet another fantasy?

It was instant. It wasn't something I expected. It felt surreal, bizarre, weird. I'm sure of nothing except for one thing. It felt good and I don't want it to end.


I've heard a lot of things about love. I had "pseudo"-relationships slash puppy love slash flings (summer fling, holiday fling; any fling you could ever think of lol) before; like at least five of them, yet I still proclaim that I haven't really been in love, ever.* Well, maybe not yet.


*no offense for these guys. i don't have to explain. you're big enough to understand that those weren't to be considered as you know.. that thing. that crazy little thing.


Honestly, I didn't want to talk about these kinds of things because I think I'm still young for this (but I'm gonna be 18 pretty soon heehee). But that's the point; isn't this immaturity what caused this curiosity? And I believe that it is always better to be prepped and equipped than not.


So.. why did I titled this post as "Yet Another Fantasy?". So melodramatic. Phewww. Well, forgive me.. not sure either. Hahaha.


But seriously, here is my story. (Dear Ate Charo...)
Just recently, a few weeks ago I guess, I had a new guy friend. (For confidentiality and privacy reasons, I prefer not to mention any information about him or how we met.) He was so nice and warm; so there, we easily clicked. Weeks had passed and I started to feel something different. It was a feeling very hard to explain but sometimes it made me giddy, shaky, and excited. I have always found myself anticipating. Longing. Expecting. I always wanted to talk to him, exchange interests with him, or simply, to get to know each other. I always even find myself wishing that even in the littlest way possible, he'll like me. (Eff. This is too much.)


Well, having said the "get-to know" thingy, we were still actually at that stage. Up 'til now. He's still partly a stranger to me; but I really want to know him better. I want him to permanently be a part of my life. I want us to be really good friends. If this relationship is a plant, I would water it everyday, give it good sunlight, and nurture it until it grows.


So the problem here is that I really don't know what this means. I'm completely confused as to what would I want to happen and where do I really want this to go. And to top it all, I don't know him that well yet.


Having all these in mind, I started to convince myself that probably this is just another fantasy. He is kind and friendly. Undoubtedly attractive. Humorous and witty. Very complex, mysterious, interesting. A perfect candidate for Mr. Almost-Perfect.


Am I right to think of it this way? Or am I just hiding the real feeling that is lurking inside of me? I mean is it really impossible to like a person you barely know? I would never want to deny what's true and real. But I don't want to assume anything either; especially that of which I am not sure of. All I know is there is no way for me to not like him and I'm looking forward for this relationship to grow. Perhaps only time could tell if this is worth pushing through or if this would be better off to be considered as just another fantasy. (Passing through the friendzone)


For now, I think I'll just go with the flow, savour the moments, and enjoy the feeling... while it's still there. :"">


Thanks for reading folks. If you're too kind enough to give some luuurve advice, or maybe too intrigued at least, hitting the comments is m-a-n-d-a-t-o-r-y. Hahahaha lol.


Advance Merry Christmas and good night! :)